Reflections on Inspiration

Today I am not inspired. 

The bird songs do not call to me. 

The grey sky 

Is a little too reflective of my emotions. 

I am an air sign 

So there must be a correlation. 

There must be a place where I can breathe easy 

Without the weight of contemplation 

Upon my back; 

Without the desperation 

That comes with trying to figure my whole life out.

I am falling 

And in my fall 

I hear the wolf barking at me

Laughing. 

I am saddened by the way of things, 

By caution-based phone calls 

And too much silence. 

I’m keeping a stick 

Above my dashboard 

To remind me 

Of the child I once was. 

What do I know now 

Of innocence? 

After the world has handed me so much? 

What do I know now 

Of resilience?

After all these years?

And of depression? 

And of entire years going by 

Without reconciliation? 

And of the frayed malaise of my life? 

Where do I find that pure joy 

That once brewed in me? 

Surely not in sad poems. 

Surely not in broken people. 

Surely not in being idle 

While somewhere 

Another life is waiting for me 

To make a commitment. 

Today I am not inspired 

But that’s okay. 

Maybe I’ll find it later.

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