Sadness Has This Way

I guess sadness 

Has this way of creeping 

Like sleeping in chasms 

Dark spaces 

Hard changes 

Heart’s chasing 

some semblance of reality 

Whatever that is

Shadows unconscious 

Material in the darkness 

Back to square one 

Back, back to where we started.

Strangers. 

As if it never happened 

Sadness 

Has this 

Passive 

Pattern 

Of getting beneath the skin 

Let it sink in 

That you’re gone 

I had an inkling

That there was no way 

To avoid this lot

All of my shame

keeps me so damn lost.

So many years it takes to let go 

So many years since the day I left home 

So many years uprooted, nomadic 

The motions of life spasmodic and spastic

Drastic alterations of person 

A stage set dark and hidden 

Behind a curtain.

And even when I’m sleeping in my own bed 

I still feel homeless in my own head. 

I don’t know what it means 

Not sure where to go 

Waiting for direction 

Or a word from the soul.

Don’t want to let fear moves 

Like the night I got drunk 

And tried to call you 

Or the night I fell asleep 

Lost in my sad 

I don’t know what I did that made you mad 

I wonder if I’m blind to who I am 

So many things I don’t understand.

I guess sadness 

Has this way of creeping

Like sleeping in chasms 

Dark spaces 

Hard changes 

Things we’re dreaming to fathom 

Like who the hell are you 

And what am I?

I think I’m on the verge 

I’m about to cry 

All I want to do is find my peace 

I guess the problem is 

I don’t know what that means.

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