There are so many amazing people in my life. I fear I will never know them on the level for which I so yearn. I believe I am hampered and hindered by a great distress: the fear of loneliness and abandonment. I believe that this fear renders me selfish and longing not to know people but to possess them as though figurines in a collection. It saddens me to no end, causes me awful guilt, and forces me to think I am destined ultimately to lose everyone that matters to me. Still I am not so blind that I cannot see the immaculate grace extended by those who love me, a depth of forgiveness for my selfish shortcomings. I fear I will never be enough for these people. Though I wish desperately that I will be. All of this causes me to distrust my own emotions and longings. But alas in my rejection of these qualities they continue to haunt me, and to wreak havoc upon my cherished connections.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s