Flooble Dorps, Flip Snips, and Bad Ideas

If you happen to wake up to find that a flooble dorp has eaten all your spaghetti just make sure not to emit any loud displeasing noises. 

If a womble doodle has gone belly up on your bathroom floor it’s because you left the soap out.

If by some chance a fondido popper has rabble roused your Labrador into growing angel wings, fucking run.

If you come home to discover a flip snip has burned your couch do not alert the authorities. This is your chance to take that trip to Hawaii you’ve always dreamt of.

Don’t miss out. The silhouette of a globflute is banging on your window and the sun is coming in. Open your door. Stand on one foot and bark three times at varying levels of tonality and pitch. The moon will enjoy your show. 

If you break up the Beatles, is it because they were destined to break up anyways?

Trust your instinct. If you feel that under your sink a small but definitely venomous sinky sonky is eating your jalapeno chips, fetch a broken pool cue and fish that bitch out.

And never ever ever open the door for a stranger who says they know you. They’re lying. And even if they’re not, it’s been too long since they’ve said a damn thing to you. The Wall Street Journal has gone up in flames. The toast has gone stale. The avocado on the counter has inverted into a kiwi. You simply can’t trust people some times.

If you happen to wake up in a friend’s bed on new year’s day with full recollection of the previous nights events and not even a whisper of a hangover don’t attempt to fabricate fabulist foibles of friend fucking. You spent the night reading about amphibians from space and the celestial arrangement of planets and galaxies. Moreover when you check your voicemail you will not find a message from the Galactic Federation. They’re closed on holidays.

Give it time. Kombucha doth not ferment in a day. Nor did Romulus enjoy the taste of Mother Wolf’s milk. But damn it you’ve got to grow big and strong. You’ve got dreams crumpled up in your backpack. Melodies yet constructed. Nevermind you can’t read sheet music. This is about learning to salsa dance in your sleep. Since when did Buzz Aldrin land on the moon just yesterday? Give it time.

If a little voice in your belly says wait then wait. Trust your boundaries. One of them might teach you to blossom.

And hey don’t forget about the flooble dorp. It will seriously bite your toes off. 


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